Greetings. Chris Dumas here. I’m the owner-manager of Vetoxa Records, where humor ALWAYS belongs in music, and I am excited to address you today – if “address” is indeed the correct verb in this context.
Vetoxa is here to release music by my friends, and only by my friends. I have some very talented friends. For example, I am lucky to know both of the principal figures behind Reagan’s Polyp – in fact, I was present at the very first Reagan’s Polyp show, in Little Rock, Arkansas in June 1992, at which they debuted their patented Beatles-explosion shtick. Others at that show included Stephen Buel, now the editor of the San Francisco Examiner, and also a dude named Bill somebody, who was so disturbed by the music that he went out into the parking lot and pounded his head on a concrete abutment until he bled. That, gentle reader, is History.
It took months of negotiations, but Vetoxa has struck a deal with Reagan’s Polyp for the rights to about forty percent of their catalog. During the next eighteen months, we’ll be releasing a dozen Polyp albums, all remastered and sounding completely killer. (The vinyl edition of Deadenator, for example, will be sourced from a previously-unused high-def tape and will sound unbelievable. Just you wait. You’re going to pee yourself.) There will also be a new “greatest hits” album, Number Ones, which will be a perfect stocking stuffer for your fundamentalist grandparents – it’s got all the songs you know and love, including the greatest rock song of all time, “You Smell Bad.” And let me be the first to let you know that we are about to have dozens of hours of Reagan’s Polyp video footage digitally restored. What for? You’ll find out soon enough!
That’s not all, though. We also have the rights to four live albums by The Zag Men – a San Francisco noise-improv group that, in 2004, inexplicably turned into a punk-bluegrass band called The Pine Box Boys. You’ve heard of them, right? Well, The Zag Men are not bluegrass. They are awfully heavy and noisy, and if you like (for example) Red-era King Crimson, you might find their music up your alley. And, unlike Red-era King Crimson, there is no John Wetton singing to get in the way of your enjoyment of the guitar pyrotechnics on display. Our first Zag Men release, Crime Spree, is already out; check out the LP package, which not only sounds killer (it was remastered and cut for vinyl by the supremely gifted Alex DeTurk at Masterdisk NYC) but which also includes a gorgeous, full-size poster by Stabitha Lahr, suitable for tacking up on your dormitory room wall.
Future releases include jazz albums by The Astronaut Body Four (our first vinyl release, Murder City from 2011, will appear on CD and MP3 sometime in 2015), the debut album by noise-terror group Nice Lady, and the quasi-legendary Berfly Tutts album, which is…. how do you say?... rather disturbing.
Anyway, we at Vetoxa hope you enjoy our products. Watch this space for periodic announcements – including the release date for the next items in our Reagan’s Polyp remaster campaign, which we’ll announce soon. Thankings to you.